So, you read that quick little ditty I wrote yesterday about decreasing the Suck in life, and increasing the Awesome. And now you are asking, “Well, that’s great, but what are you actually doing to do that?”
Great question. I don’t know.
Here’s the deal, this is still kind of new to me. I’m a recovering religion-holic, and I still suffer from it. I love thinking and waxing philosophical – and I mean I LOVE IT. It’s addictive and it gets me high (endorphins and all). But when that’s all it does, it’s just a drug, a sedative that makes me believe I’ve actually done something, when all I’ve done is rationalize that by out-thinking something, that I’ve actually dented it.
So, I’ve tried to begin countering that addiction by doing a couple of things that force me to get out of my own head, and into a life that really matters.
Listening: Your story and your voice is more important that mine. Seriously. I want to know more about you, where you come from, what you care about, and who you are. Let me listen to you, because I really am tired of my own selfish story and thoughts, and I am genuinely more interested in you.
Being Fully Present: I’ll admit that even as I write this, there are at least six other pressing things that I have to get done. That usually dominates my thought, so I become oblivious to the things around me. Things that I can interact with and engage in. Things that I can, right NOW, turn the suck down on. But because I’m chasing the dragon* that is productivity, I missed the moment with you. So, now I work to stop mid-my-thing, and really look and listen to what’s going on. I’m in a coffee shop right now, I’m going to do it right now, watch…
Ok, nothing, this time.. though Deer Tick’s Christ Jesus was playing over the coffee shops sounds system, so maybe that was something.
Love: This one is a little more complicated to explain. It might require me writing tomorrow, but in essence, I love you. I think you are freaking grand, and I am trying to learn how to express that better. I’m not ever going to be the most emotionally connected person, or the touchy-feely guy, but that’s not what love it about to me anyways. If, however, in my own mis-aligned and awkward way, I can display my love for you, then I think the Suck decreases, and the Awesome begins to glow. A well-timed joke, a terrorist fist-jab, a helping hand, or a shoulder to lean on.. I can live out love like that.
*Another drug reference, I realize. There is a reason for that. I know where I am hooked up, and where I get my validation and highs. I mean look, do you know yours? It’s pretty healthy to admit it if you do. Just saying.
A Consummate Confessional 