I don’t look into the face of God enough, because I’m afraid of the face he will look back at me with.
I had a similar problem in junior high, and some of high school too. If I thought a girl was pretty, I’d steal glimpses at her, but the moment she would notice and turn her head to see who was looking her way, my eye would dart to the ground. Or if I had to go up to a teacher or coach and ask a question, I’d begin to look at their face to gain their attention. But when I did have their attention, I had a hard time looking their way.
I was afraid they might frown at me, or twist their face in horror, or say something mean.
Or laugh.
But none of that ever happened. My fear is what drove me from eye contact with other people. I think I lost out on a lot of friendships because I was so protective of how I thought others might see me, that I never let them.
But with God, it’s different. God already knows me – too well. God knows all of my high points, and my low ones. He knows my successes, and my broken edges. He knows all of me, and he still wants wishes desires craves (still not a strong enough word) to have me see him, face to face. The very nature of God is love, and to peer into God’s face is to see the very essence of love (1 John 4:7-8).
If I look into the face of God, the only thing that can look back at me is him. And he is love. To look upon the face of God is to look at love in its most perfect form, shining on me.
God loves me with a purity and intensity that I cannot begin to wrap my little brain around.
I don’t deserve that, but I will take it.
A Consummate Confessional 