The Non-Negotiables: Redux

Two years ago I wrote about a set of standards that I set for my life. These weren’t goals, they were qualitative boundaries for how I would (and would not) conduct my life as I pursued my goals. This list was my list of “non-negotiables”; if you took me, you took them. They were a part of the package.

Now that it has been a couple of years, I felt compelled to review them. I can say with  pride that I held onto some of them with great integrity. However, in other places, I negotiated – sometimes for the sake of “efficiency”, and others just out of weakness. Never being one who is satisfied at his current level of evolution, I offer (for myself mainly, but I hope these are helpful for you too), my revised list* of non-negotiables:

 

• I am faithful to my wife.
• I say what I want.
• I will meet head-on those who bully and abuse.
• I am dangerous to those who oppose truth, goodness, and reason.
• Compassion for my family trumps my need to be right.
• I replace doubt with acts of grace.
• I am a risk taker.
• I live in accordance with my faith, and no one else’s.
• I do what I believe is in the best interest of my family, even if they disagree.
• I do not ask for permission.
• How I live will give more credence to my integrity than my words.
• Fear does not keep me from taking risks.
• I do not indulge my addictions.
• I am a man of my word, period.
• I do not show anger to my Mother.
• When name-calling begins, the discussion is over.
• I spend time with people I respect.
• I will not feel guilt in resting from work.
• I ask for help when I’m not being the man I want to be.
• I do not hide from confrontation.
• I honor my daily spiritual practices.
• I welcome feedback from those I trust.
• I only apologize when it’s appropriate, not simply to please others.
• I choose which of my friendships to maintain.
• I do not sell out who I am to placate others.
• I do as I see fit.
• Hell will break away at my feet.

These are my non-negotiables, they come with the package.

 

 

 

*The list is posted in two highly visible places in my life as burying them deep in a blog post will do them no good. If you make a list, I suggest you do the same.