“His Clutchness”

Sometimes, you wait until the last-minute to go shopping for a gift for someone important. Add to this time sensitive adventure that you have no idea what to get for the person you are shopping for.

Sometimes, you are limited by not only time, but also finances. Whether any of that is your fault or not due to the fact that you consume more sushi per week than the average great white shark is secondary at the moment.

Sometimes, you must do as Bruce Willis did to test his powers in the movie “Unbreakable”. You “go to where the people are”, and test to see if you have the uncanny ability to find the perfect gift within budget on a single unscheduled morning of freedom.

Sometimes, you walk slowly, arms outstretched and palms opened, feeling the air for that elusive thing you seek. The rest of your senses follow suit as you become a hyper-aware being of the various potential haul being hocked at each square inch that surrounds you.

And then, suddenly – a memory is recalled. A half of a conversation that was buried deep in your mind from 8 months prior pops into the front of your mind. You find yourself right where the moment took place, right where that perfect product is, right after the retail associate approaches you with it without you even asking.*

Sometimes, you drive away – gift in the seat next to you. It happened in the blink of an eye, but it was if time itself slowed down just so that you could fulfill your destiny.

In that moment, you’ve unleashed a superpower. In that moment, you are, “His Clutchness“.

Happy (Insert your appropriate seasonal celebration/s of choice here).

*Jedi mid trick, obvs.

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